Lavish Grace

I don't think that I am alone when I say that in the midst of parenting I sometimes catch myself parroting my own mother.  It just comes so naturally to do and say the things I grew up with, the things that are so familiar and understood.  On the flip side, it is difficult for me to parent in ways that are unfamiliar and hard to understand.

I recently finished reading She's Gonna Blow by Julie Ann Barnhill.  In it she gave an exhortation to lavish grace on our children.  To paint a picture of her idea of lavish, she told a story about her grandmother covering a cake with loads and loads of frosting.  I too have one of these grandmothers whose fluffy chocolate frosting always almost equals the thickness of the light angle food cake below, so I readily latched on to the word lavish.  Yes!  I want to do this!  I want to coat, bury, envelope my kids with grace.  After all, that is what my Heavenly Father has done for me.

But here is where it gets difficult.  Grace is unmerited favor.  It is God's gift that He gives even when, especially when, I don't deserve it.  And, frankly, this is something that is so hard for me to understand.  Throughout school and work I excelled in our performance-based society.  I like to work hard and enjoy the benefits that "I deserve".  I even went through a period in my teens and early twenties where I hard-heartedly was a proponent of everyone "getting what they deserve".  In my human mind it just made sense.  And lately I have realized that while I have grown in my ability to extend grace to others, I still have trouble accepting God's grace towards me.  When I had a day of failures this week, and then my son got sick I started to pray that he would recover soon and that the rest of the family would not get his illness.  Then I stopped in the middle of the prayer and thought, "no, I deserve for the whole family to get sick."  I know I am not the only one who thinks this way because whole religions are based on the concept of atoning for one's own sins.

About God's grace the Bible says,

But God is so rich in mercy, and He loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, He gave us life when He raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!).  For He raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with Him in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ Jesus. So God can point to us in all future ages as examples of the incredible wealth of His grace and kindness toward us, as shown in all He has done for us who are united with Christ Jesus.  God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.  

Ephesians 2:4-9

I want it to be my daily prayer to have a deeper understanding and acceptance of my Heavenly Father's rich and unending grace.  For I know the more that I do, the more I will be able to lavish grace on my own beloved children!

Missing My Mommy

On Sunday I had some tearful moments.  I was thinking about how next Sunday will be Mother's Day and how I cannot share it with my mother.  In my adult life I enjoyed taking her out for brunch on Mother's Day.  Then when I became a mom, she insisted on taking me out and lavishing me with gifts to celebrate "the great mother" that I was to her grandchildren.  That is just the kind of woman she was.  She was so giving and loving - my best friend.

When Jesus finally took her home to heaven after her two-year battle with pancreatic cancer, I was so happy that her suffering was finally over.  I knew that she now had a new and perfect body and that she was doing what made her happiest: singing worship songs to Jesus.  Only now she was actually face to face with her loving Savior!  Now, as Mother's Day approaches this continues to bring me comfort and I am also reminded of some miracles that have taken place since her passing.

My husband and I have such a burden for our family and friends who do not know Jesus.  We long for them to have the peace and joy that only He can bring. We want to spend eternity in heaven with them.  As hard as it is, we have often prayed that at any cost, we would like to see these loved ones come to have faith in Jesus.  Through my mom's illness and in her passing, we know of one stranger and two family members who accepted Jesus as their savior.  Our "at any cost" mindset was tested and I can tell you that I still feel that way.  It is where people spend eternity that matters; not how long they remain here on earth!

After nearly two years with my mom gone, my dad realized how much he missed laughter in the house.  He decided to join an Internet dating site (which if you know my dad, this alone is an act of God).  Within a week he met a woman and they married sixteen days later.  I thought he was crazy!  Now, one year later, I see that he was not crazy.  This was the plan God had for him.  My new step-mom is such a blessing!  She accepted my family with open arms and my children LOVE their new grandma!  In addition, my dad had a medical emergency at home one day, and I believe that if it wasn't for her being there with him, he would have died too.

So, I am approaching this Mother's Day both with tears and rejoicing.  I am grateful for the mother who loved me so dearly, I rejoice for those saved by her testimony, and I thank God for the step-mom He has blessed my family with.  But for my own loss, I also cry.

For everything there is a season,

    a time for every activity under heaven.

A time to be born and a time to die.

    A time to plant and a time to harvest.

A time to kill and a time to heal.

    A time to tear down and a time to build up.

A time to cry and a time to laugh.

    A time to grieve and a time to dance.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-4