- Get accepted to Cal Poly - Check!
- Get married - Check!
- Graduate with a B.S. in Civil Engineering - Check!
- Have child number one after obtaining my professional civil engineering license - Check!
- Have child number two before I turned thirty - Check!
That was it! I had arrived! I had the best husband ever! I was a stay-at-home mom to two amazing children, a boy and a girl. I had a career to fall back on if I ever chose to go back to work. Life was great. I loved it. I made the decision to not have any more biological children. I thought there may be a possibility of adopting when the kids were much, much older. At that moment, I didn't want anything to change.
Then it happened. We heard through family that there was a ten-month-old boy in need of a home. Our hearts broke for this little boy. We prayed he'd find a good home. Then we learned that there was a possibility that his mom would want us to adopt him. Could we do this? Was this God's will for us? We prayed, fasted, and searched God's Word. I know intellectually how God can speak to people, but I always struggle with how to hear from God when I am seeking an answer. I just prayed the God would overlook my ignorance and in faith I opened the Bible hoping that God would just make the passage on the page His answer to me. I had opened to Matthew 18. Contained in this portion of Jesus' teaching, two passages struck me:
"Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me"
Matthew 18:5
“See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven. What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray? And if he finds it, truly, I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray. So it is not the will of my Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish."
Matthew 18:10-14
I knew then that adopting this child was God's will. My husband received confirmation from the Holy Spirit as well. After just hearing about the child on Friday, we met him that next Tuesday, I babysat him on Wednesday, and he moved in on Friday. So within a week, my life that I had not wanted to change was now completely different. For the first few months, it was exciting to see God work. To see how easily my other children accepted our new family member. To see how much our new son flourished and grew. But then there were nearly two years of difficult legal battles, health issues, and adjustments. I was frustrated, tired, and starting to doubt if I had really heard from God. After all, this was not part of my plan.
And since this was not my plan I had to stop relying on my strength to do it all. I had to set my focus on The One whose plan it was. In laying down my desires and my picture of what I thought was the perfect life, God has shown me that His plans are far superior. I could not be happier to have this child as my son. I love to hear him exclaim his love for my husband, his siblings, and me. I love to hear the way all three kids laugh and play. I love how he sings often. I love his deep belly laugh that is like none other. Without him, our house would not have all the joy it does today. Without him none of us in this family would be who we are today. So thank you God that your plans are always better than my own, and help me to remember this everyday!
